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B O R G N E by boum B O R G N E by boum
I'm in a good art phase I think. Yippee! And this is actually pretty conceptual compared to most of my work---it actually has meaning.

So "borgne" is the French word for "one-eyed".

Almost three years ago (as some of you may know), I've been seeing thousands of little grey dots (commonly called "flies" because they look like tiny insects flying around) everywhere. I was diagnosed with a condition that was totally benign and that would eventually disappear within the next year.

Two years later it still hadn't gone, so I went elsewhere to get a new diagnosis, just in case. I spent most of my Christmas vacation in 2009 doing tests and blood samples and such, because it might have been symptomatic of tuberculosis or hepatitis or great diseases like that, nothing too reassuring. Turned out I had nothing big, except that one inflammation in my right eye, that could eventually damage my vision but that could be fixed if it happened. The dots would also disappear eventually.

And then, two weeks ago, it worsened A LOT. The grey dots tripled in number and size and are now darker and more visible. There's one right smack in the middle of my vision that's about the size of a toonie (two-dollar coin in Canada), and it's creepy because I can actually see it in full 3D---it's kinda hard to explain, I guess the easiest way I could put it is that it looks like a jellyfish is swimming in front of me. And then I began seeing bright lines on the edge of my vision (like lightning strikes), and that put me in a state of total panic because it's a sign that the retina is being pulled on, and that may cause blindness.

So for a few days I naively waited and hoped for it to disappear on its own, but since it didn't, I began to picture the surgical procedures that awaited me and I even fell in random states of delirium where I would try walking and drawing while covering my right eye, just to see how well I could cope, and then I'd try to convince myself it wasn't so terrible.

Well, turns out there's nothing alarming about it after all. The symptoms I have could mean bad news, but my retina is doing just fine right now. I just have to stay alert for more drastic changes and have my eye checked once a year, but my ophthalmologist's positive that it'll eventually disappear over the years. In the meantime it still bugs me a lot, but I feel I have no real reason to complain, as it doesn't prevent me from doing the things I love and working as a visual artist. It's crazy how you don't realize how precious vision really is until it's in jeopardy. I can't help but admire those who were born/became blind but still live normal lives and enjoy living. I have a great lesson to learn from them.

So there. I painted this to illustrate what I went through and it made me feel better.

--
India ink, poster paint, Photoshop CS4
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:iconkavsikuzah:
kavsikuzah Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2011  Professional Filmographer
Hey thanks a lot!
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:iconkavsikuzah:
kavsikuzah Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
your welcome
Reply
:iconyuzi:
Yuzi Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
Crazy but incredible story! One of my biggest fears is to lose my eye sight. For some odd reason, I can see myself with a missing finger, or limb or missing a certain part of my body that I was originally born with...but when it comes to my human senses (taste, hearing, touch, etc.) I tend to freak out. What you have gone through sounds even scarier because it seems like something that anyone could possibly go through. It sounds almost like a common cold! Scary :[

But!! I love how cohesive your back story mingles in with the illustration. I love the symbols that define certain parts from your vision experience like the paint splatter = small grey dots you've been seeing, the frustrated expression = frustration you went through & even the different color/shaded eyes!

Ah, I'm typing too much here, but I just gotta say...this is awesome :heart:
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Whoa thanks for the great comment!! <3
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:iconvomitresponse:
vomitresponse Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My left eye is already kinda bad, so if I lost it, I wouldn't really miss it TOO much. However, if I lost my RIGHT eye... that would be bad.
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
My left eye isn't "sick" but it doesn't see as crisp as my right one does. Ironic, eh?
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:iconvomitresponse:
vomitresponse Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
One of my eyes got sand in it when I was a kid and when I rubbed it, the sand scratched up my eye. Now one eye sees better than the other.

Everybody should wear eye patches and have a pirate party.
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 21, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Woah, that's intense. And I'm all in for eye patches.
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:iconvomitresponse:
vomitresponse Featured By Owner May 21, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
When it happened, I had to wear an eye patch (not the piratey kind though) and I kept putting them on my brother while he was sleeping. My mom would take them back off him though, 'cause she didn't want him to wake up and think he was blind.
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2010  Professional Filmographer
You are awesome.
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:iconvomitresponse:
vomitresponse Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you!
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:iconvmkaa:
VMKAA Featured By Owner May 20, 2010
This is a very arresting image. Thank you for sharing your story, too. :heart:
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Thanks! :love:
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:iconteddy5555:
Teddy5555 Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Très expressif et plein de sentiments. C'est drôle à quel point tu as réussi à passer ta frustration dans cette image, ça se ressent rien qu'en la regardant :)
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Aw merci, c't'un chouette compliment, ça!
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:icontrickypink:
trickypink Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Artisan Crafter
I'm definitely adding this to my prints wishlist. I love this so much!
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Hey thanks :D
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:iconch103:
Ch103 Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Student General Artist
ho boume je savais trop pas . T'es vraiment faite forte sérieux t'es si bonne en dessin même si tu voit pas bien tu m'impressionne encore plus <3<3<3 Je te shouaite de tout mon coeur que ça s'arrange! Aussi c'est tellement puissant comme image et doux et beau et originale je l'adore , je l'ai mis en fond d'écran en plus ça va avec mon mood artsy de c'est temps ci haha
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Awww merci Chloé <3 Ça me touche beaucoup ce que tu dis làààà
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:iconcolorpulp:
colorpulp Featured By Owner May 19, 2010
This is beautiful and alarming.
I love the simplicity.
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconfearn:
fearn Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Professional General Artist
I'm glad you're okay.

My grandfather lost sight in one eye when he was young, then lost total vision when he was 75, due to the retina detaching numerous times due to cateracts. Eventually, there was nothing that could be done, so he lived in total darkness to the age of 89. It was kindof sad, since he never saw me past the age of 4, just knew my voice. And he never got to travel as much as he would have otherwise have done. But other than that, he lived on his own until he was 88, cleaned his house, made food (stove top and microwave only, we did prepare most of his dinners for him). He got along pretty well. :)

Vision is definitly something we take for granted.

i love this painting, I had it faved before I was able to read your story, hours later.
Reply
:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
That's an inspiring story. You make me feel better <3
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:iconantilamonn:
Antilamonn Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Malade comme histoire tout ca.. jcomprend que ca a du te stresser beaucoup. Ca transparait dans ton image, le résultat est vraiment expressif! J'adoreee.
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Merci Anneju<3
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:iconmishi:
mishi Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
What a cool word and I love the picture!
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Thanks!
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:iconmishi:
mishi Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
You're welcome! ♥
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:iconmonsterbrand:
MonsterBrand Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Professional Photographer
you've been featured here: [link]

:heart:
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Wow thank you!
Reply
:iconhoshihime:
Hoshihime Featured By Owner May 19, 2010
Ces points me font penser à l'artiste Yayoi Kusama. Autrement, j'espère vraiment que tu t'en tireras le mieux possible. Tu vois ces points avec tes deux yeux?
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Quelqu'un m'avait déjà parlé d'elle, mais j'pense qu'on a un problème différent parce qu'elle parle d'hallucinations, alors que moi c'est permanent...

Merci <3 En fait, mon oeil gauche (bien que ça soit celui qui voit le moins bien en général) est intact. Quand je ferme mon oeil droit, je vois un peu flou mais tous les petits points partent, ça me fait du bien.
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:iconhoshihime:
Hoshihime Featured By Owner May 20, 2010
Au moins, tu as une "porte de sortie". C'est clairement pas optimal, mais c'est bien que tu puisses avoir des moments d'accalmie.
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
En effet, même si j'y pense pas souvent (de me fermer un oeil...). Comme ma vision est meilleure dans mon oeil droit, ça complique les choses...
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:iconhoshihime:
Hoshihime Featured By Owner May 20, 2010
C'est une conspiration |D. Mais plus sérieusement, en effet, c'est louche. Est-ce que c'est gnere des caillaux dans ton humeur aqueuse ou je ne sais trop?
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 21, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Ouais, en fait j'ai des taches dans l'humeur vitrée, ce pourquoi j'vois un "jellyfish" en 3D, c'est comme si je voyais toute la 3D de la gélatine dans mon oeil, c'est weird.
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:iconhoshihime:
Hoshihime Featured By Owner May 21, 2010
Ça a l'air VRAIMENT spécial, en effet. Genre, les médecins savent ce que tu as, mais pas le pourquoi ni le comment?
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 21, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Exactement! La seule chose que je sais, c'est que la plupart des gens qui souffrent de ça l'ont normalement dans les deux yeux, et moi je l'ai juste dans un oeil. Youppi, I guess?
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(1 Reply)
:iconalfredocaceres:
AlfredoCaceres Featured By Owner May 19, 2010
its an amazing piece of art.. and i hope the jellyfish decides to leave soon, i cant imagine what it feels like but when i had tendinitis in my hand last year i thought i was through.
Reply
:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Thanks :) I hope it leaves soon. But in the meantime it's strangely inspiring, I feel like drawing jellyfish now.
Reply
:iconkemmeru:
Kemmeru Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Student General Artist
Good for you, staying positive. I hope your vision clears up without a hitch.
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Thanks a lot!
Reply
:iconkonirathax:
KoniraThax Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
Oh, man, stuff with your eyes is not cool. Hopefully you don't have to get surgery, it's scary. When I had my lazy eye, I had to get surgery and the complications suck - pains, headaches, blech. My eyes are always photo-sensitive now so I can't be under certain types of florescent lights.

*Knows your pain*
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Aw I'm sorry to hear that and I totally know how it feels >_>
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:iconcabycab:
Cabycab Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Professional General Artist
Thérapie par le dessin. Et ca marche!
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:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Yup!
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:iconakaleus:
akaleus Featured By Owner May 19, 2010
Thank you for sharing your story. I truly wish you the best of luck with it. Like you, I have the upmost respect for people that have learned to live without their sight. It's simply amazing.

Stylistically I love this piece. It's so simple, but there's a lot you can read into it. I think it really tells your story very well. After reading your story I can see the bits and pieces of it in the artwork.

This is just an awesome piece. Great job and thank you for sharing it... and your story!
Reply
:iconboum:
boum Featured By Owner May 20, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Thank you so much!!
Reply
:iconkarrey:
karrey Featured By Owner May 19, 2010  Professional Filmographer
Ah... so powerful. I am sorry to read about all this and I hope your condition will get better. I remember when I first saw your short movie "To be afraid of the dark". It was extremely powerful to me because I never knew you had this diagnose - and knowing how important vision is to an artist. I thought about it for a long long time - and it comes back to me sometimes - how it must make you feel. And wow, I am impressed of how brave you seem to be about all this. I sure hope it will disappear gradually. I think I understand what panic you must be in/have been in. Even if it's hard to compare to it, I remember the panic I had when I noticed the a constant ringing/buzzing sound in my ear 6 years ago (tinnitus?) and now there is even a tiny noise in my other ear as well - But it won't really affect my choice of career except for my focus when it gets loud. It feels unfair since I always "took care" of my ears, but ... like you said, it's hard to complain too much as long as you can keep up with what you love to do. :)

Again, I am impressed you are so strong and brave. You are my hero! :heart:
Hope you get better soon! :heart:
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